When an embryo transfer attempt does not work, it is always disappointing and often devastating. However, when a surrogate does not become pregnant after an embryo transfer, it brings unique concerns and literally impacts more individuals involved in the process.
It is also important to recognize the significant infertility history that many intended parents have experienced before embarking on a surrogacy journey. Surrogacy is typically the last chance to have a baby when all other options have been exhausted. Even for intended parents who did not have infertility, the many years of planning for a baby and saving for a surrogacy journey are significant.
Surrogacy (often using donor eggs or sperm) is also the last attempt for many intended parents to have a child genetically related to one or both intended parents. In all cases, it is the last chance to have a baby who is so very desired.
When an embryo transfer cycle in surrogacy is unsuccessful, it is normal to experience a profound sadness and it is necessary to take a ‘second’ to grieve the outcome of the transfer and reset. Here are some potential strategies to keep in mind when considering next steps after an unsuccessful transfer attempt.
- Grieve the Unsuccessful Transfer which goes for both the intended parents and for the surrogate. The emotional impact for the intended parents is intense since they have lost one of their precious embryos. For the surrogate, she questions whether she has done everything correctly and may be disappointed that her body has let her down. She also has a busy life and is always planning the timing of the pregnancy – whether the next embryo transfer attempt will work or even if any transfer attempt will be successful. Empathy for how the other party feels is key as you decide on next steps in the process.
- Listen to the IVF Doctor since they know what to do next from a medical standpoint and they will have a plan in place. Typically the IVF doctor has gained valuable insights from the prior embryo transfer attempt and can tweak the upcoming transfer cycle accordingly. The IVF doctor wholeheartedly wants the transfer process to work and is always considering options to yield a successful outcome. They will also be honest if they believe the failed attempt was due to poor embryo quality, the medication protocol, the surrogate’s ability to become pregnant, or simply bad luck. Sometimes a second medical opinion can also be helpful if the potential causes are complex.
- Seek Assistance from a Mental Health Professional specializing in third party reproduction. This could be helpful both for the intended parents and for the surrogate, and should be available to all parties. Sometimes it is critical to have the perspective of a mental health professional and have the space to share one’s feelings with someone outside of the journey. This may provide the strength and desire to start another embryo transfer cycle.
- Surrogacy Success Rates are High, among the highest success rates of any assisted reproductive technology available. According to the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART), the success rate for surrogacy can be around 50-60% per transfer. It is important not to lose faith because it is likely that the next embryo transfer attempt could be the one. This is why most surrogacy agreements include up to 3 or 4 embryo transfer attempts in the journey. Most groups experience increasing chances of success with each subsequent cycle, particularly if high-quality embryos are used.
- Keep in Mind the Statistical Bigger Picture of each subsequent embryo transfer cycle. Research has been done comparing the success rates of transferring one, two, or three healthy embryos in surrogacy. The first embryo transfer has a success rate up to 60%, the second embryo transfer increases the success rate to 70%, and the third can yield a 95% chance of success. Of course, these numbers do not apply to everyone, but the main message is that three embryo transfer attempts using a surrogate has a very high chance of working and is very much worth pursuing.
Put very simply, each embryo transfer attempt is high stakes. Surrogacy in general is high stakes both in terms of the emotional and financial costs of pursuing surrogacy. However, surrogacy has proven to be one of the most successful assisted reproductive technologies available and a very real and life-changing option for growing a family when other ways of having children have been exhausted. Most importantly, care for yourself during the journey and keep in mind that an unsuccessful transfer definitely does not mean that the journey has come to an end.
We encourage all intended parents and prospective gestational carriers to contact Capital Surrogacy and learn more about the process. Please complete the short contact form, we cannot wait to hear from you!
