The Process of Becoming A Surrogate
The process and timeframe of becoming a surrogate is as unique as the surrogate herself! Each surrogate has her specific reasons for starting a journey and contributes her background, knowledge and strengths to the process. She also has her own plans for what she hopes to gain from the journey.
Nonetheless, by the end of the surrogacy journey, she will share a surrogacy experience that only her fellow surrogates can truly understand. She will feel the excitement and anxiety of starting the surrogacy process, the uncertainty and hope with the medical screening, embryo transfer and then pregnancy, and most importantly the great reward of helping another family at the birth.
Below are the highlights of the surrogacy process at Capital Surrogacy for a surrogate. Kendra, a former surrogate and Case Manager at Capital Surrogacy, will walk you through the steps in her own journey. Most importantly, she will describe her thoughts and feelings at each phase, something that other surrogates will be able to relate to. Perhaps if you are thinking about becoming a surrogate, Kendra’s experiences will give you a sneak peek at what the surrogacy process is truly all about and bring you one step closer to deciding to become a surrogate with us.
While there are many phases and requirements to becoming a surrogate, Capital Surrogacy will be there to help you through each and every step! We are excited to join you on this life-changing journey!
Phase 1: Getting Started
The first step is to visit the Surrogate Qualifications page on our website to make sure you meet the surrogate requirements, and submit the surrogate inquiry form. From there we will contact you immediately, and you will be able to get to know us better and ask any questions you may have about the surrogacy process.
Kendra’s story:
Whereas the first official step is to check if you meet the surrogate requirements, the first step for me happened a few weeks earlier when looking online for a job to help support my family. I came across a link that said something about being able to stay home and help make money for my family, by helping another family. That sounded like something I could and would like to do! After clicking on the link, I found myself unexpectedly on a surrogacy website. I must admit that I briefly looked at it, but it wasn’t really what I had in mind. However, as I was going about my day, I began to think about what it would be like to become a surrogate. Could I really stay home and care for my kids, and not need childcare? How much could I realistically make? Could I help another family have kids and bring them the same joy that my own kids gave me? Over the next few days and weeks, I just couldn’t get the thought out of my mind, which lead me to fill out the inquiry form. I honestly felt anxious and excited waiting to hear back from the surrogacy agency. Thankfully the conversation with the agency Case Manager came quickly and I was able to freely ask all of my questions about becoming a surrogate. I felt more at ease and after talking to my husband, I was ready to begin my surrogacy journey.
Phase 2: Pre-Screening/ Surrogate Profile
There are many steps at this point of your journey, but we will be there to help you through each one. If you meet the surrogate qualifications, a questionnaire to determine your journey preferences will be the next part. After that, your medical records will need to be reviewed, a background check will be done, you will need to speak with a psychologist to make sure that you are ready for the journey, plus a home visit from us. Once you are qualified after pre-screening, the Case Manager will then create a surrogate profile for you.
Kendra’s story:
I must admit that I found this phase to be a little difficult, not in the sense that anything is difficult to do, but difficult because this phase takes time and being patient is not easy for me. This is especially hard when you are so excited to really get started! I enjoyed being able to be hands on during this phase, such as filling out all necessary paperwork, getting my clearance letter from my OB. It made me feel like I was doing my part to be able to move forward to the next phase. I knew that each appointment, signed document and meeting were necessary and served a purpose. I was truly excited each time one more appointment, document or medical visit was completed.
To be honest, I was unsure what to expect from the psychological evaluation, as I had never done one or anything like it before. I remember confiding in my Case Manager and telling her I was nervous; she was very reassuring and encouraging. In the end it ended up not being scary at all. It was just exciting to move on to the next phase!
Phase 3: Matching
You will be matched with your intended parents! When we have determined a match, you will be sent the intended parents’ profile. If you would like to proceed, we will then send the intended parents your profile to review. If both parties are on board, we will then arrange a video conference with all parties. After the conversation, if all parties agree that this is their ideal match, you will officially be matched and move on to the next phase. If both parties do not agree, no worries, the process will just start over until both parties are comfortable!
Kendra’s story:
This was probably my favorite phase, finally getting to meet the intended parents I would get to help! I remember being so excited when I received the email with my intended parents’ profile! I read it several times over, before excitedly sharing it with my husband and mom. That first meeting was filled with equal parts excitement and nervousness as well as the big question of ‘will we be the perfect fit for each other’? The first meeting was just the right amount of time for everyone to get to know each other. I remember getting off the video conference call and looking at my husband and mom with tears in my eyes, then saying “I think I’ve met my intended parents.” The intended parents felt the same way, so I was matched on the first try. Honestly, it was such a great moment, I will never forget it.
Phase 4: Screening and Legal Contracts
You will need to complete the medical screening at your intended parents’ IVF clinic, which very well may include an overnight stay. A joint evaluation may be done at this time which also includes participation from the intended parents. The joint evaluation is primarily to see if it is a good match all around. During this phase, you will also begin negotiating parts of the surrogacy agreement along with your attorney, as well as ultimately signing the surrogacy agreement.
Kendra’s story:
I enjoyed being able to travel for the medical clearance. I was also excited to be able to see the IVF clinic. I had never been to an IVF clinic. The clinic was beautiful and everyone I encountered while there was very kind and friendly. During this visit, I had medical tests, met with the intended parents’ doctor, and then a nurse walked me through how to administer my injections. We also discussed the medications I would be taking. All this made it seem so real, and that hopefully a successful transfer and pregnancy were not too far away, and that was beyond exciting!
While the agreement is a central part of the journey, it did not seem overwhelming. When I received my draft agreement, I read it several times and then had my husband review it. We agreed on the few things we wanted changed, and thankfully there were only a few. I made an appointment with my attorney, and she made the requested changes. I then had to just wait until my intended parents agreed to the changes and then everyone signed off, and we were on our way to the next phase.
Phase 5: Monitoring Appointments & Embryo Transfer
You will begin your medication in preparation for an embryo transfer at this time. While on the medication, you will need to attend several local appointments to monitor your progress. Once your body is at the optimal point for the embryo transfer, your potential date will be set. After you receive the embryo transfer, you may be required to stay near the IVF clinic for 24-48 hours after the procedure.
Kendra’s story:
This was one of the most exciting phases, and perhaps a bit scary! I was excited to start the transfer process, but also nervous about taking the medications, specifically the shots. Luckily the shots weren’t as bad as I had imagined. And there are so many wonderful resources out there from other surrogates with tricks they had learned and were willing to share. I personally learned a few things myself that I am excited to share with other surrogates! Once my body was ready for transfer, I traveled again to the IVF clinic, this time with my mom, which was one of my favorite parts of the journey. Upon arrival at the IVF clinic, it amazed me how fast the actual transfer was! After the transfer, it was back to my hotel for rest and relaxation and some good food ordered in! This truly was one of the most memorable days of my whole surrogacy journey.
Phase 6: Pregnancy
Once confirmation of pregnancy is established by blood test, you will have an ultrasound at 6-7 weeks to confirm the baby’s heartbeat. Once your pregnancy is established, you will attend regular OB appointments, grow your relationship with the intended parents, as well as keep them updated on your pregnancy progress.
Kendra’s story:
My intended parents were overseas, so unfortunately, they did not get to attend the medical appointments in person. There were lots and lots of texts exchanged. Also, I sent many ultrasound pictures showing the baby’s heartbeat and when the baby was active. I tried to think of many ways to keep them involved and part of the whole process. During this time, it surprised me that when I told people that I was a surrogate, most people knew so little about surrogacy. So I enjoyed talking about surrogacy with those who wanted to know more and were genuinely interested in what I was doing. As with all pregnancies, there were challenges, but also so many joys and unforgettable moments!
Phase 7: Birth Day!
Finally, the wait is over, and the baby arrives! We will develop a birth plan, including your plans for pumping milk, so that the delivery is as smooth as possible. If local to us, we will joyfully visit at the time of delivery. And after you have delivered your wonderful gift, we will still be here for you! We enjoy getting to know our surrogates and keeping in touch after delivery. Some surrogates even choose to return to our agency, for another life-changing journey.
Kendra’s story:
The first time I met my intended parents in person was when I was handing the beautiful baby boy that we had all worked so hard to create to his mom. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life! It felt so rewarding to be able to be part of something so life-changing for everyone involved! After returning home from the hospital, my agency sent a giant cookie with “thanks for giving the gift of life” on it, for all my family to enjoy, and we did – especially my kids! I appreciated the thoughtful gift because it was a gift for my entire family, and we were all in it together. My surrogacy journey was truly remarkable, and I hope to help other surrogates have the same fulfilling and joyous experience I had!
We encourage all surrogates to contact Capital Surrogacy and learn more about us. We want all surrogates to have an amazing journey, just as Kendra did. Please visit and complete the short surrogate inquiry form, we cannot wait to hear from you!
